Why focus on conflict?

Recent research on workplace conflict has shown that contrary to common belief, most people do not realise or acknowledge they are in conflict.  It is often labelled as blame, confusion, pressure, stress or even illness. 

By the time people usually describe themselves as being in conflict, matters have progressed or escalated to the point that they are much more difficult to resolve.  Early recognition that there is a conflict afoot is therefore highly beneficial.

However, we need ways of framing our experience as conflict to be able to recognise it and handle it effectively rather than being paralysed by it.  Many such ways will be addressed in forthcoming issues of this newsletter.

The way we think about our conflicts can be a major limitation to our ability to work creatively with it.  Add to that our lack of skill, emotional literacy and little or no formal education in relation to conflict.  It is easy to understand why we are generally so poor at dealing constructively with conflict.

Evidence abounds of our inability to deal with conflict in a beneficial and uplifting manner - relationship breakdown, industrial disputes, over-dependence on litigation, sectarian/ethnic conflict, and so on.  Our inability to deal constructively with conflict is one of the greatest threats to human stability and progress and possibly even survival.  The cost, not just financial, touches all of us in our intimate relationships, in the workplace, in our schools and in our communities. 

There is not a day goes by but we are confronted by stories in the media, which tell of the grief, injury, wasted effort and other dire consequences of our inability to manage conflict effectively.  Ineffective ways of dealing with it are so deeply embedded in our characters and culture that we often assume that we can do no better than we are currently doing. 

It is time for us to do something about it and the good news is that we can.  Many innovative approaches for working with conflict have been generated over the past century.  However, these are not well known. Nor do our leaders and institutions take their significance seriously enough to the point where effective action is taken to improve the way we handle conflict. 

Breakthrough is committed to changing the ways we think and work with conflict and to offering a variety of ways of preventing, containing, resolving and transforming conflict.  We believe that we need to build our capability to deal positively with conflict at every level - intra-personally, in our relationships, in our groups and teams, and in our organisations and communities. 

The challenge is both personal and collective.  We need awareness and new ways of understanding our internal conflicts so they do not get acted out inappropriately in our relationships.  We need ways of recognising and valuing our differences so diversity becomes a resource and not just a source of conflict.  We need ways of identifying and aligning ourselves that neither deny nor threaten the existence or undermine progress of other communities and organisations. 

The challenges are major and the rewards of success are simply enormous for all of us. We hope you will join us in making it happen. 

Insight:         The Value of Healthy Conflict

People often do not take the time to consider the cost of damaging conflict until they have experienced it.  By then the high price has usually been paid and the best people can hope for is that they learn before letting it happen again.  The value of healthy conflict can be looked at both from the perspective of what might be gained or from the painful and costly experiences that might be avoided.  When it comes to conflict, most people tend to be motivated by avoiding the negative consequences.  However Healthy Conflict is best motivated by positive values or potential gains rather than by avoidance of negative consequences. Either way they add up to some pretty powerful motivation for seeking healthy ways of dealing with conflict.  The following are some examples of what can be gained and avoided.

Gain

• Mutual respect and satisfying relationships
• Personal balance and self-confidence
• Learning and development
• Effectiveness and productivity
• Alignment behind mission and vision
• Communication and cooperation
• Increased energy and motivation
• Creativity and innovation
• Justice and inclusion
  

Avoid

• Damage to relationships/ company image
• Loss of effectiveness and productivity
•   Low self-esteem / moral
• Stress and illness
• Absenteeism/ loss of valued staff
• Sabotage/ destructive behaviour
• Distraction from business/ lost opportunitie
• Financial costs of settlement, litigation, etc.