Some Tips for Encouraging Dialogue

• Dialogue requires an extra effort to understand others when they are not wholly articulate.
  

• It is difficult to see the limitations of our own thinking and we need to ask others to help us recognise our assumptions and move beyond such limitations.
  

• We are all at very different stages in our understanding of a situation and our readiness to take a decision or go into action.  Mapping and articulating our present position and progress in our journey illuminates both our stance in relation to others and what we might need next.
  

• We all tend to showboat - to show off how much we know, how much we possess, what we do best.  Awareness of our need to be recognised or acknowledged can lessen the disruption to dialogue.
  

• Our pet preoccupations can undermine dialogue - our repeated raising of the subject stems from the belief that others are unaware or do not accept the importance of our preoccupation.  We are often unconsciously fearful that its importance will be marginalized or forgotten.  Speaking directly of our fears may have a more potent effect than repetition of the issues.
  

• Many of us are trained adversaries whether negotiators, advocates, political activists or simply self-interested.  Our listening is less for the purpose of understanding and more for seeking out weakness and rebuttal.  Dialogue requires shared inquiry and not just advocacy, pouncing on ill-chosen words or tearing holes in the others argument