Framing the other as unbalanced, mad, out of control, irrational, self-centred, uncaring, attacker, enemy, untrustworthy, a threat, not worthy of being loved or respected, thus undermining their credibility and our own preparedness or motivation to listen.

Placing the primary responsibility on the other to express themselves in language we will understand rather than on ourselves to listen effectively - "They don't deserve to be listened to if they cannot communicate effectively", or "I can't be held responsible if I misunderstand bad communication".

Pretending to be listening when we are really scanning or preparing our response to what has been said.

Not open to being influenced by the other from our position of strength or point of defence and only seeing the other as someone to be enlightened, influenced, weakened or punished.

Having narrowed attention driven by fear, anger, hurt or hate - full up, usually with emotions and our own views - little room for something new.

Assuming that we fully understand all we need to know, can't see or imagine how our view could change and assuming we have nothing worthwhile to learn about ourselves, others, context or conflict.

Expecting that there will be nothing new or surprising merely that our existing judgements and beliefs will be confirmed.

Seeking out inconsistencies or weaknesses in the arguments of the other, listening selectively to gather evidence to support our side or to undermine the others.

Listening selectively to own inner voices, filtering out those of doubt and internal disagreement,
discomfort with ones stated position, recognition of own one-sidedness, etc.

Filtering out data which may support the stance of the other side or undermine our own position.

Inferring derogatory meaning, intentions or motivations on the part of the other.

Making unsustainable inferences or assumptions about what the other is saying.

Having alert antennae for anything that may confirm our negative beliefs, prejudices or stereotyping.

Being on the lookout for vulnerabilities of the other as potential points of attack.